New Journey

I am writing this blog today to share some important news about a journey Brandon and I will be starting. Brandon and I have been praying for a very long time about how God wanted our family to be formed. It took awhile but we really feel that the Lord has called us to adopt to start our family.

I would be lying if I said in some ways it has been a difficult decision to come to.We have been very diligent with our prayers, and have left our hearts open to receive a peace about what he wanted us to do. In addition to praying, we have talked to families that have adopted and went to a conference to get some information. It was at that conference that God really aligned our hearts, and we knew this is what our journey was.

We are really excited that God has chosen us to adopt to start our family. But I constantly battle to with all of the "unknowns" of this journey. We know it will be a difficult journey but we know that we will be immensely blessed through it as well. We are currently praying for God to show us where our baby is. We are also praying for God to give us wisdom on how to be wise with our finances as well. Adoption is expensive, but we know that He will provide.

We want to be as proactive as possible in getting information, and preparing for this endeavor in our life. But I, little miss planner, have found peace in knowing God has already taken care of all the details for us. We just have to step out in faith to see them all fall into place.

We have so much to be thankful for. We both have very supportive families and has raised us both to rely on the Lord, and to seek HIS plans only. We have also have several friends that are on this same journey, and are currently trying to adopt, or already have their child in their home. So we have been able to receive great support emotionally but also given lots of information.

So this is step one for us. We are sharing what has been laid on our hearts so heavily, and what we are anxiously waiting to see it unfold. We have been blessed with such great families and friends that are SO supportive and such strong brothers and sisters in Christ. So this is how you can help support us.

Please pray for us. Pray for our hearts that they will be open to where our baby is, and that we will not be fearful. We want to make sure this is all in God's timing and our hearts are open and seeking where our child is that GOD has chosen for us. WHEREVER our child may be. Pray for Wisdom for us. God has blessed our family with a great leader of our little family of two. So now we are praying for wisdom on how to best prepare and fund this financially.

Here are a few options that I will be posting on the blog to help fund our adoption:

1) I am selling Scentsy and all profit that I make from this is going into our savings account for Adoption.
2) I am also setting up an account where you can just donate as well.
3) Designing Shirts to sell and all profit from this will go into our savings account as well.


We will update along the way. These are a few scripture verses below that have really touched our heart.

You are the helper of the fatherless. LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will prepare their heart; You will cause Your ear to hear, To do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, That the man of the earth may oppress no more.

Psalms 10:14,17-18

Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families.

Psalms 68:5-6

And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.

Matthew 18:5

I'm Back!!!!!

DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED by the difficulty of keeping your focus on ME. I know that your heart's desire is to be aware of my presence continually. This is a lofty goal; you aim toward it but never fully achieve it in this life. Don't let feelings of failure weight you down. Instead, try to see your self as I see you. First of all, I am delighted by your deep desire to walk closely with me through your life. I am pleased each time you initiate communication with Me. In addition, I notice the progress you have made since you first resolved to live in my presence. When you realize that your mind has wandered away from Me, don't be alarmed or surprised. You live in a world that has been rigged to distract you. Each time you plow your way through the massive distractions to communicate with me, you achieve a victory. Rejoice in these triumphs, and they will increasingly light up your days.
Romans 8:33-34
Hebrews 4:14-16

It's been awhile my friends, but I finally feel like I have something to say. I'm having a really hard time being content right now. I'm also having trouble trusting and having faith in what God has planned for me.

Teaching is really hard people. You can ask my family, I come from a family full of educators. It took me a really long time to commit to a "career". I fought being a teacher for a really long time growing up. I never felt like I knew what my calling was. So in my journey to find what God was calling me to invest my life in, I moved to Tyler. I fell in love with Tyler and fell in love in Tyler too. But before I fell in love in Tyler, I finally started listening and looking for the doors God was opening in my life.

I have seen countless times in my life and in the life of people around me, how powerful mentors can be. It inspired me, it transformed my heart. I often think of the scripture verse, " We are called to Father the Fatherless." This verse is ringing true in many ways in my life currently. Some I am still praying about to be revealed, but I believe is being lived out in my life right now. But its really hard.

I am writing this not to have a pity party, not to feel sorry for myself, but to say I am recommitting myself to the purpose God put on my life. I work with kids that come from broken homes, have broken hearts. But also ones that scream all day long and throw dice at me and point their finger in my face and call me "EVIL", smack their lips at me. I work with kids that send me home every day feeling very exhausted and defeated. But I also work with kids! Not only do I get to work with kids, but I get to work with kids that desperately need someone to say they are worth something and they are a special child. Kids that inspire me to come to work and be the best teacher I can be for them, and ones that even love me when I'm not such a great teacher.

But I am realizing and asking myself........."What is really defeating me?" and "What am I missing because I am losing focus?" I can list of a 100 things that make me mad, and I want to change. But that's not what the problem is. It is myself. It is my fears. It is my insecurities. God has called me to be at this school and with these kids. So WHY do I not believe and move forward in this. HE will equip me and I am qualified already because it is through him that I am a quality person. I heard on the radio today " God does not call the qualified, he calls those of quality and qualifies them." This is where God has put me, and I have to have faith in that and I don't want to look back and miss out on the big picture. I can count on one hand, when I feel like I didn't miss the big picture in something, and lose focus because of the hardships that go along when God is working in your life. I want this time to count.

So I will say again, teaching is really hard. And, when I try to do it through my own strength, I fail miserably. So I am refocusing and recommitting my filter in my mind. There are so many things that make me lose sight, and I will lose sight a million times, but that is okay. Because God will use something to bring me back in. Such as the radio message today, a student reminding me to "look for the good things and an email with POWERFUL scripture. So I will rejoice in hearing God's message today and keep listening for more.

Trinkets

I love christian music. It always inspires me and encourages me, and also helps me to think of things in a different light. Through life we experience lots of different seasons; seasons we don't even know we will experience. Currently, my husband and I are in a big waiting season. There are lots of things we are in waiting about, but at the fore front is waiting for God to renew Brandon's health. He has been through alot, and has handled all of it with great courage and bravery, and I am constantly amazed and inspired by him and also how God is taking care of us. There are times when we feel very content, and are able to find peace that God is in control and he will continue to lead and guide us through this new journey of marriage, and health together. But sometimes, and I'm currently experiencing it this week, I am having trouble finding peace in that. But right when I feel like my peace is leaving, I pray a little harder and remember God's word and his promises that never leave, and he sends me a little trinket to fill a need.

Trinket # 1 he has sent me just this week, was a listening ear and it was such a huge encouragement. A friend of my mine came to me this week, and just told me how much Brandon and I had been on her heart and said she was praying for us, and it felt so good to just share in where we are in our journey right now.

Trinket # 2 I have this little boy in my class. When I found out he was in my class this summer I was mortified, and there are some days I am thinking "What in the world!" But most of the time, I am heartbroken for this little boy, and his mom. I am heartbroken that I think she is really is starting to try and be a good mom the best way she knows how, but nobody has ever shown her how to. Somehow God connected us, and has given us a good relationship and allowed for there to be moments of guidance. But this little boy, trusts me, and knows that I have his best intentions at heart and he doesn't trust people or that people can have his best interest at heart before their own, because most of his life his mom hasn't. And I just think, God thanks for that trinket to let me be that for this little boy, and let him see your love. Even though sometimes I don't respond the way that I should.

Trinket #3 Laughter. Brandon and I have great friends through our bible study and through our Sunday school class, and through others that have already been in our paths. We always have the best laughs with them, and it is good for the soul!!!

All this to say, God knows what you need and he will and is giving it to you!! Sometimes in small bits, and then sometimes the waiting is over and you get a full circle moment and see what God was doing all along. I am so thankful!!!

Weekend of Firsts

This year has been a year of "firsts". Now, some of the firsts that I have experienced this year have been a lot of good ones and some have been some hard ones. But this weekend I experienced some firsts that reminded me of the simple things in life, and to enjoy every minute of it!! Let me share a few with you!!

• Our first REAL snow as a married couple, and really in my adult life. Before we realized that it was snowing this is what our Thursday night looked like, Brandon was watching "Paranormal Activity", and let me tell you I do not like scary movies. So I sought refuge in our bedroom. When I say refuge I mean, locked both of our bedroom doors, and had the pillows surrounding my ears trying my hardest not to hear any of the movie. Amidst all of this we realized that it was snowing, so we ran out and played in it for awhile, and then drove around just enjoying seeing everything covered in white. It was so exciting!!!

This is us playing out in the snow. I look like a little kid in a candy store, I'm not sure if Brandon shared the same level of excitement as I did.

• Onto the next first. Waking up to a winter wonderland!!! The next morning due to how much it snowed overnight, school was cancelled and I woke up to a beautiful sight of white!! All of this white surrounding me, gave me a surge of excitement and all my worries left for the day!! It was wonderful!! I instantly went looking for some kids in my class to play in the snow with!! My wonderful co-teacher came over and we went to one of our students houses to ask him to come play in the snow. What a memory!! I don't think there are many kids who could say their teacher came to their door and asked them to play in the snow. I wish I could live everyday that fully in the moment, and not having a care in the world!! Here are a few pictures from our memorable day.

• My final "first" moment of the weekend was snow day with my niece and nephew. Brandon and I went to Rockwall for the weekend to celebrate his upcoming birthday, and my dad's birthday. I treasure my family, and love every moment I spend with them. Having a niece and a nephew and becoming an Aunt is something that has really shaped me since they have come into my life. I love seeing my sister as a mom, and seeing my family interact as great grandmother, grandmother, grandfather, and uncle and aunt. It is such a neat relationship, and it helps you see how your parents legacy gets carried down to a new generation. This weekend my brother had the idea of "sledding" down a nearby hill for Cale. It was HILARIOUS. Cale was so brave and loved every minute of playing with "Uncle D." At one point we even got little Ryan in on the action.

So as I am sitting here on this Sunday night, reflecting on the weekend and thinking of the looming Monday morning, I have one lesson learned. Be Present!! You never know, if you will ever get a chance to experience that moment again, or interact with the same people again. So by fully present in each moment God has given to you and be thankful and joyful!! So this week, as my mind and body will be pulled in 50 different directions, I am going to do my best to be present in the moment and try to make the impact God is calling me to make. So THANK YOU Lord, for such a great weekend!!!

To Many Blessings.....

Many times I have seen or heard of people blogging and thought, what is the big deal? Why does everyone like to blog so much?? Well, a few of my friends have started blogging, and I must say, I really enjoy reading them. As a newly wed, a teacher and many more things, alot is going on in my life, and in my husbands life as well. God has been so good to us, and continues to be, and is teaching us new things all the time. I hope to use this blog to glorify him in what he is teaching us, and to bless other people by this, and of course to amuse some people to, as well as myself.